The New Coach of the Washington Redskins

There have been many rumors and guesses surrounding what the Redskins will do this off season with their coaching staff and personnel.

The personnel decisions are pretty meaty. If you ask 100 Redskins fans whether they should keep Campbell or trade him, you'd probably get 50 fans who say keep him and 50 who say trade him. Will Clinton Portis retire because of his concussion? If he doesn't retire, will the Skins bring him back? Should we keep Sleepy Fred Davis and try to get draft picks for him?

My answers are keep Campbell, let Clinton go regardless and trade Cooley. I like how the Skins have been playing of late. They've averaged over 30 points a game for the last 3 games and one of the main reasons for that is they have a bunch of hard working, no namers who give it their all every second of every game.

It's fun to watch that kind of effort on Sundays. Even in the tough losses, it was good to see them trying hard. When you watched Cooley and Portis, you never really got that sense from them. They had made their money, made their names and had things other than football on their minds.

Guys like Quenton Ganther, Brian "The Rack" Orakpo and Devin Thomas haven't yet accomplished anything in the League, so they are going practice as hard as they can, play hard on every play and take advantage of every opportunity that comes their way.

They still have so much to accomplish and prove on the field. You need a lot of players like that on a team to keep the practices sharp, keep the focus and energy level up throughout an entire season.

As far as the coaching staff, I was unsure at first. Ever since the Skins hired Sherm Lewis "The Bingo Caller" the Redskins offense has started showing signs of life! And Zorn who is probably nothing more than a figure head on the sidelines, seems to be figure-heading pretty well.

So, maybe the Skins keep this same set up next year and lets see what happens. After all, if the Redskins had this type of offensive performance when they played that weak-ass schedule early this evening, look out! We'd be 9-4. Easy. So what happens?

Well, I've heard this rumor and it makes sense. The rumor is that Danny Snyder has already come to a wink-wink agreement with this man:

Mike Shanahan. One theory is that maybe the Shem "Bingo Caller" Lewis move wasn't such a stroke of luck or some random signing. What if Danny "The Socialist Midget" Snyder actually already has Zorn successor not only signed, but also calling the shots?

The Socialist Midget has met with Shanahan at least twice this season. If during those meetings, Shanahan agreed to be coach, then what if he insisted that he get one of his guys into the mix immediately, to pave the way for Shanahan. What if Zorn is a lame duck, and everyone in the organization knows it?

That would explain why Blache stopped talking to the media, maybe he didn't want to have to sit there and be pestered with questions that he can't answer. That would explain why Zorn has that vacant lost look in his eyes as he roams the sidelines (note: he's actually looking a little more solid on the sidelines, like he finally determined his purpose. Good for him. Although I did notice that his headset isn't actually plugged into anything.)

So Shanahan says, "Get Sherm Lewis in there, he'll call my offense and start prepping the team for my style of play calling and my terminology. Do it now, Monkey Boy!" And then Vinnie scurries off and does Shanahan's bidding.

I like it! I like it a lot, actually. So I'm going with it. It makes a lot of sense. So we'll stay tuned. In the meantime, I am looking forward to the Redskin's new role as spoiler. We get the Giants on Monday night (I'm predicting a really good/spirited match, you won't be disappointed national viewer), Dallas (that sound you hear is every Dallas player's sphincter closing now that it's December) and San Diego (don't care that much about them, I actually like to see Norv in the playoffs).

And lastly, my prediction for the winner of the So You Think You Can Dance fall season is.......Jakob. The guys pretty rock solid. For the female, I think Katherine is probably going to be the highest vote getter. I could see Russell the krumper getting the top male vote, but if that happens, the Kathryn wins. So there you go. We shall see what happens tomorrow night.

Ok, that's it for now, I want to leave you with this Bruins commercial I came across:

"but she's so pretty..." That cracks me up.

Insatiable APPetite

Earlier this afternoon I was trading emails with my buddy Oneface about his new Blackberry. He said that he fines himself waking up at 3:15 in the morning, answering emails. Not because they are urgent, but because he can.

I just got a new Palm Pre, and its everything I could hope for in a phone. In fact it is such a good phone, that it makes me resent my family and my job for taking me away from precious Palm Pre time.

The Palm Pre does the standard yahoo email and work email. That's nice because that gives me something to do as I drive into work everyday. And of course its got the large touch screen. But does so much more.

I have Sprint and unfortunately they do not have the i-phone. However, Sprint has a pretty decent app store, so I have slowly waded into the selection. So far I have downloaded wetter.com which is a weather app. Pretty straight forward, gives you the weather for the next 7 days.

The second app I downloaded is Flixster, which is pretty cool. You simply look up a movie, read the reviews and if you want to go see it, you click "Find it" and the app will find all of the theaters playing that movie that are close to my current location. It'll even list the times and if I want, I can buy my tickets online or over the phone, or whatever the hell it's called.

Of course, I've only seen one movie in the theaters in the last 2 1/2 years, but still, cool app.

I have a sweet app called "Good Eats". This app figures out my location, then shows me all of the restaurants located around me. Then, each restaurant will have a thumbs up, mixed bag, or thumbs down rating from other "Good Eats" users. So far, so good. Although I work in Landover, MD and there is a deadly combination of shitty restaurants and no user reviews. I'll have to drive out to Bowie, MD and see if there's anything cooking over there.

Lastly, the coolest app I've downloaded so far is the DirecTV Super Fan app. Because I have the Super Fan package, I'm able to watch every game the NFL has on my phone. It's awesome. It's the broadcast from FOX or CBS and it comes through really quite well.

I was able to catch that Kareem Moore's interception run back, strip touchdown play last Sunday while waiting in line at the Corner Bakery.

So, I will continue to search out and find cool apps. If you know of any good ones, please clue me in.

Alright, now for some Entertainment. I came across this cool article about one of the members of 3rd Base (Pop goes the weasel cuz the weasel goes POP!). It's an incredible tale of baseball memorabilia and fraud. Check it out:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/the_bonus/12/09/nash/index.html

Next up, here's a little article about getting rid of stuff. I hate having stuff around because you never throw it out. That's not a good enough reason. So here's an article that gives some advice in the matter of throwing things out. I think the most intriguing advice is when she says to get rid of your yearbooks. Interesting:
http://www.simpleliving.net/main/custom.asp?recid=1#02

(I botched these links when I first posted, my apologies) The next article I found is an article about how you can cook more and eat out less, and why that's a good idea. It's a good article and I look forward to being able to spend an evening preparing a kickass meal.
http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/how-to-cook-more-eat-out-less.html

And finally, here's our Simpson's clip for the week. A little Ralph to carry you into the weekend:




Have a good weekend everyone, Go Skins! Beat those Raiders.

The Four Team Draft Update

I realized the reason I don't write about our Four Team Draft (brought to you by JHBsports.com) is because after watching the Redskins of late, the last think on Earth I want to do is think about football.

It's just brutal, these losses are so unbelievable, yet totally predictable. I've divorced myself from this season, I've prepped for every game knowing that we're going to lose. So what do the Skins do? They find a new way to torture their fan base.

I knew we were going to lose, but then, late in the fourth quarter, we had a 10 point lead. In fact there was only about 3 minutes left. That's a two possession game. They kicked a field goal to close within 7, but we had the ball. And we were driving! Holy cow, is this possible? Could the Skins actually pull out a victory? See? Now, I'm emotionally invested. I'm in.

The Skins drive the ball to the 6 yard line of Saints. There, the drive stalls. No worries, Suisham can hit a 23 yarder, right? Hell and yeah. I did a little X Dance, thought about how sweet work would be Monday, when I didn't have to carry the burden of another loss. Then it happened. Suisham missed the FG. From 23 yards out. At that point, the outcome was determined.

The Skins would lose in overtime. Just terrible. So, after watching the Redskins ruin yet another Sunday afternoon, the last thing I want to do is watch football. When you watch the 4 o'clock and night games, all they do is show the same shitty ending over and over.

But with the NFL season coming down the final stretch, it seems like letting the Skins ruin the Four Team Draft is wrong. So without further ado, here's our Four Team Draft (brought to you by JHBSports.com) Update.

1) Cap'n Myteamsstink, Oneface, 33 points, +$144
Cardinals, 8 wins- As a first round pick, I thought this was probably high. Sure they went to the Super Bowl, but c'mon, they're still the Cardinals. Turns out they'll probably get into the playoffs and host a Wild Card game. Not too shabby.
Vikings, 10 wins- obviously this is a surprise and a killer pick for the second round. They will have no less than 14 wins, and play in domes all playoffs long. They could very easily make it to the Super Bowl.
Broncos, 8 wins- The steal of the draft. If you get 8 wins out of your 3rd round pick and a potential playoff team, you are probably doing pretty well.
Jaguars, 7 wins- and if your 4th round pick has 7 wins, and is currently in the last spot for the Wild Card, well, you are probably in first place in your league. Well done, Oneface. One other note, Cap'n Myteamstinks is on the JHBSports.com Top 10 teams of all of the Leagues. Way to represent.

2) Exceptional My Ass, Me, 29 points, +$80
Patriots, 7 wins- As I was despondent from the Redskins game, I didn't really pay much attention to any other 1 PM games. But from what I hear, Belicheat screwed up again. Dammit! These are costing me points. Stop messing around! Can they still make the playoffs? They've got a one game lead, that's it. Stop effing around, Bill!
Saints, 12 wins- Hollah! It's actually better for me betting-wise that the Saints won. It helps the Skins when they need to cut dead weight this off season (Mike Sellars, see you later), it helps them with their draft pick (now the 5th overall pick) and it helps ensure that there will be some significant changes in the management structure. Plus, I get a point. Nice.
Cowboys, 8- I remember in the draft, I was so pissed my brother took the Skins the pick before mine and I had to settle with the Cowgirls. Now that's not so bad. Of course, it's December, so the Romo and his December swoon are fully underway.
Lions, 2 points- That's two points better than last year.

Big Al's, Safer, 27 points, +$48
Colts, 12 wins- Al went with the hometown Colts, and boy was that a good idea. Last couple of years Al got worked over in the league, so it's good to see he's making some of that money back. Also, the road to the Super Bowl goes through Indy, so that ain't a bad position to be in.
Packers, 8 wins- First they were great, then they sucked, now they're great again. I saw their Monday night game with my buddy Plebers. It was a good game, the Packer's D is pretty sick. I really like Clay Matthew's kid and I think AJ Hawk has a coold name for a linebacker. Also, Packers are going to the playoffs.
Dolphins, 6 wins- Well if the NE Cheaters are going to keep losing games for no reason, the Dolphins have a chance to sneak into the playoffs. Dammit.
Browns, 1 point- Hey, didn't the coach of the Browns also cheat with Bill Bellicheck? Yeah, I think so.

Defending Champ, Dean, 23 points, -$16
Iggles, 8 wins- They're in the drivers seat in the NFC East. This week's Giants/Iggles game should be awesome.
Ravens, 6 wins- hold on a second for me, Flacco's not quite done shitting the bed. Tell you what, come back next season and let's see if this gets any better.
Bills, 4 wins- Ugh.
49ers, 5 wins- They should be better than five wins. They lost those two fluky games early on in the season. Otherwise they'd have 7 wins, one behind the Cards for first place.

Johnnie Karpdog, Extraneous Kickassery, 22 points, -$32
Giants, 7 wins- This team will go into the playoffs and help Johnnie dig out of this hole.
Falcons, 6 wins- and fading......
Jets, 6 wins- They are 1 game behind the Pats, but they are headed in the wrong direction. I don't see them getting more than 8 wins this season.
Chiefs, 3 wins- not so good. In closing, go Giants!

Team Bagel, This is Turdland, 20 points, -$64
Chargers, 9 wins- nice first round pick, could get deep into the playoffs. Of course Norv Turner is prominently involved, so beware.
Titans, 5 wins- They had a chance to sneak into the playoffs, if they ran the table. Didn't happen, but they'll get another 3 or 4 wins.
Texans, 5 wins- Apparently this team has no heart and doesn't know how to win games. Not a good combo.
Rams, 1 win- What happened to this team? They were the most prolific team in the NFL just a few years ago. Now? 1 win.

Unky Al, Patapoff, 20 points, -$64
Bears, 5 wins- Disappointment. Remember when people were tripping all over themselves this summer, trying to get Cutler in here instead of J-Cam? Those people are idiots. I wish people who were that wrong were required to begin every sentence with, "Before I get to my sentence, you should know that I though Cutler was a Top 10 QB in the NFL. Ok?" Otherwise, where's the accountability?
Seagulls, 5 wins- Never got going this season.
Bucs, 1 win- Ugh, and I don't see them winning another game. Did you hear about Deion on the NFL Channel's Sunday post game show? Apparently they were showing Raheem Morris calling plays, and he was covering his mouth, so that no one could read his lips and figure out what plays he was calling. At the sight of this, Deion said, "Man, nobody wants your plays!" Good stuff, Deion.
Bungles, 9 points- I don't think I've ever seen anyone save their best pick for the last. Especially when the first three picks were so dreadful. Still, Patapoff always gets a Super Bowl team, so look for the Bungles to make it to the Holy Land.

David, 18 wins, -$96
Steelers, 6 wins- This is a tough one. Hard to predict them losing as much as they have. With last week's loss, it's not looking good for them getting into the playoffs.
Panthers, 5 wins- Another underwhelming, disappointing performance for this team. By the way, they need to blow it up, over there in Carolina. New coach, QB, and coaching staff.
Redskins, 3 wins- Interesting Redskins facts this week? One, they let Suisham go today. Miss the FG? You're out. Two, Clinton Portis has been sidelined for the rest of the season because of the concussion he suffered 4 games ago. While I think the Skins are better off with the Betts, Cartwright, Ganther, Mason combination, it's still sad to see CP go down like that. It could be a career ending injury, because he's still got problems with his vision and dizziness. And third, apparently Vinnie Ceratto is bad-mouthing the Socialist Midget to other NFL executives and scouts, laying responsibility for the disastrous personnel decisions right at the feet of Danny Boy. If/when The Socialist Midget hears about that, things are going to get awkward.
Raiders, 4 points- These guys show up against some of the best teams in the NFL. Fortunately, this weekend, they are not going to show up and the Redskins are going to get the win. That's my Lock of the Week!

So there you go. The only other update that I have regarding the 4 Team Draft, brought to you by JHBsports.com is an update on my Jaguars/Titans trade. This past week the Jags won and the Titans lost. So, since the trade was made, we are tied with the total number of wins. However, the Jags still have a chance to make the playoffs, so I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

Alright, that's it for now. More later this week.

Entertainment and SImpsons

I promised a blog with meat, soon. This is not that blog. This is a Friday Entertainment blog that is chockful of Entertainment. See, I just got a new Palm Pre, and as far as I can tell, it's the coolest phone of all time. So, I want to play with it and discover how many apps I can throw on one phone in one night.

So, let's start off this week's Entertainment with a breaking news story. That's right, this is hot off the presses.

Did you hear that Tiger's going to change his name? It's true. From now on he'll be called Cheetah.

Now, I got this next video from a guy from work. It's great. I don't know why, but not only do I enjoy video's like this, but I really love the slo-mo replay. It's called, How to Wake Your Girlfriend:




Here's a blog of some Adventure Cyclists who went from St. Louis to Seattle. The best part of their blog? It's all pictures. No words. That's my kind of reading:

http://bipedalist.com/

Hey, who wants an "I've Got a Feeling" parody?

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924835

Beware, hot chicks are usually just a wee bit batshit crazy (Elin style):
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1925223

I would be remiss if I didn't include this week's Simpsons clip. Here are Homer's Four Great Inventions:

Are rape jokes ever not funny? The answer is yes. This rape joke isn't funny.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1925087

Here's a Rachel Bilson sex scene that was cut from her recent movie (NSFW):

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f8fab67257/rachel-bilson-s-deleted-sex-scene

Alright, that's it. Have a good weekend, Go Skins, beat those Saints.

Where's the Beef?

It's been a little crazy at work lately, and that's bled into the home life/blogging time too. However, I don't want you, the loyal reader to have to suffer. So despite the lack of Redskins lamenting and the like, I promise that will return.

The Redskins recent, unsurprising failure is playing out much how you would expect. There are changes that need to be made, the question is, can they be made?

Also, who would you get rid of next year and who do you keep around? I want to dive into that. I also want to dive into the current batch of Top 10 TV Shows right now, because there is a surprising show in the number 1 slot. A show that has never been so high before.

Alas, those topics will have to wait a few more days, as it's late and I'm exhausted. I do have some really good stuff for you to watch though. First, check out this two part video about a basketball team that was coached by a fire fighter who died in a furniture warehouse fire. You literally can't make a story like this up. No one would believe you. Here's part 1:



And here's Part 2:



And before I leave you, on a lighter note, here's a rock solid burger from a
place called Hanks. The good news is that this place is located in College Park, MD. A mere 10 miles from my work. I will be eating there shortly. Behold:



Ok, that's it for now. I'll have more soon.

French Canadians

Have the French Canadians ever done anything in the history of their culture that was worth a damn? At first glance, you might say no. Well, you would be wrong.

Dig a little deeper and you'll find that the French Canadians brought to the world poutine. A magical concoction of french fries, cheese curds and gravy. Alllllright. Now we're talking. In fact, if you'd like to make anything more awesome, simply add cheese curds and gravy.

That is, however, the end of the line when listing great French-Canadian contributions to mankind. Until, that is, I stumbled across this video. Apparently it's a bunch of students from University of Montreal, Quebec. One shot, one take.



Well done, frogs. Alright, now for some Entertainment to take you into Thanksgiving weekend. First up is an article all about happiness. It's a nice article leading into the holiday season:

http://www.timescolonist.com/There%20more%20happiness%20than%20think/2141332/story.html

Next up, Will Farrell answers fan email. This is hilarious, but there is some foul language:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/36d31abcf2/will-ferrell-answers-internet-questions-from-will-ferrell

Unfortunate news about Shakira:

http://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/shakira_just_not_feeling_up?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Alright, that's it everyone. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Innocence Project, Entertainment and Lego Simpsons

Now, I don't often post political or cause-oriented posts on this site. For one thing, I like to think of this blog as a place to come if you'd like to be mildly entertained or kill a couple of minutes. If you want to read some ranting and raving political views (and believe me I have them, damn hippies) there are several other sites you can go to, to get your fix.

Every now and then I'll stumble across something in the news, that totally and completely blows my mind. Something so outrageous, I feel like I have to do something. Anything. Even if it's a stupid email that no one reads.

I stumbled across such a story today in the Sun. You can read the article here if you'd like, but to kick off our Entertainment, here's an email I sent to the folks at the Innocence Project:

Hello Innocence Project,

I was reading through an article in the Baltimore Sun today and it moved me to write you a letter commending the apparent good work you lawyer-types are doing.

The article is about Jason Mattison, Jr. He is the 15 year old boy who was killed (well actually raped, gagged with a pillowcase, stabbed in the head and the neck, then stuffed into a closet). It's a pretty appalling case. Pretty gruesome stuff for a 15 year old boy to endure.

Even more appalling was the following 3 paragraphs regarding the boy's killer, Dante Parrish:

Parish was 24 when he pleaded guilty to shooting and killing a man on Maryland Avenue in March 1999. In 2008, the Innocence Project, a group of attorneys who help people they believe were wrongly convicted, took up his case.

They found that Parrish had pleaded guilty to second-degree murder based on a faulty statement of facts read into the court record - there were two witnesses, not three, and a gun was found weeks after the shooting, not with Parrish when he was arrested.

A judge overturned his conviction, citing ineffective defense counsel, and in January, Parrish entered what is called an Alford plea, which allowed him to deny guilt but concede that the state had enough evidence to convict him. He was freed on time served, effectively cutting a 30-year sentence to 10.

So, keep up the good work! I'm sure there's nothing more important than releasing convicted killers on technicalities.

Chris Roth

There, wasn't that fun? Alrighty, onto Survivor. I don't want to do a Top 10 right now, but I will do one soon. This season of Survivor is hands down the best season since Season 1. It is now must see TV. And the reason for this, is one man. Russell.




I mean, goddammit. Russell not only found the immunity idol THREE times so far (3!!), but he found it twice without a clue, and last night, he found it by faking out the hippie. This is the same guy who told the entire camp on the first day that he was a New Orleans fire fighter who saw his poor dog float away and drown after the levy broke.

Now, not only did Russell find the immunity idol, but he is the first person to play it at the most perfect time possible. In fact, the past three tribal councils have been the most dramatic tribal councils I have ever laid witness to. It's true. It is.

So, Russell, I salute you. And I thank you for making Survivor the show that I can't wait to watch, week in and week out.

Alright, now some quick hitting Entertainment and the weekly Simpsons clip. First up, do you like dogs? Do you like soldiers returning home after serving this country overseas? Well, then you'll really enjoy this clip:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924708

Looking for proof that soccer players are douche bags? Here you go:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924842

I'm not posting this because I think it's funny. I posting it because I think that Jon Gosselin is a complete loser and this is just bizarre:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/82ee1f0bd5/jon-gosselin-goes-back-in-time

Here's a new Between Two Ferns with Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/03b4a86265/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis

Not sure if you caught Cousin Michael's post on last week's blog, but he found this gem of a youtube clip. It's 10 minutes of the best quotes from The Wire. If you have 10 minutes and can tolerate some eff-bombs, check it out (thanks Cousin Michael):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sgj78QG9Bg&feature=player_embedded

And by the way, can we all finally agree that it's time that we stop awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to do nothing, douche-bag politicians (I think I just broke a record for the most times the word douche-bag was used in a single blog) and start awarding them to whoever the hell takes the time to put stuff like that on youtube? I mean that is gold and it would take me 10 months to pull that off.

And lastly, here's this week's Simpsons clip. It's the Simpsons Intro done to Lego's:

Alright, that's it. Go Skins! Beat the Cowgirls!