So, now that we have this Death Pool, once a year I must go through and find out which 17 people I think Death is hunting. While I'm doing it, I don't like the way I feel about it. However, once I'm done, the fun begins.
And then I get to spend the entire year following Celebrity Deaths! And that's more fun than you can imagine!
Getting a text that says, "Did anyone have Heavy D" or "Check it, Angie had Winehouse. She's the new Master of Death" is great fun.
So without anymore unnecessary ado, here's my 2012 Heath Ledger Memorial Death Pool:
1) Joe Pa- broken hip? Check. Reason for living taken away suddenly? Check. All around failing health? Check. Looks like we have a solid lead off for the my Death list.
2) Zsa Zsa Gabor- at this point I can't pull her off the list. That could be this year's Winehouse. I'm still pissed I left her off.
3) Kirk Douglas- see #2
4) Dick Cheney- wife says someone saw a picture of him and he "didn't look well". That's the type of hot tip that can win you the contest!
5) Wilford Brimley- old and has diabetes. Double threat!
6) Dick Clark
7) Nell Carter
8) Jerry Sandusky- this year's Osama.
9) Dottie Sandusky- maybe a 2 for 1? When the details come out, it maybe too much for her to take.
10) Penny Marshall
11) Jerry Lewis
12) Bill Cosby- this is my, "Man I hope not" pick.
13) Fidel Castro- Yeah, sure. It's been a bad few months for ruthless dictators.
14) Jim Brown
15) Lindsay Lohan- you know, she just did Playboy. Might be some party, she takes a little too much coke, a little too much heroin. You never know. Plus, I need a big point getter.
16) George Michael- and hopefully if he does die, they will never play his gawddam Christmas song ever again.
17) Michael J Fox- Another pick that I would hate. The boy and I watched Teen Wolf a few weekends ago and you forget what a megastar he was back in the day. Family Ties, Teen Wolf, the Back to the Future franchise. He was a super-duper star in the mid to late 80's.
So there you go, that's my list. Big shout out to Jonnie Karp for suggesting making the list longer than just 10. I thought 17 would be a stretch, but that wasn't the case.
For those of you who would like tiny dish of sorbet to cleanse you pallet from the death, here's an epic six person pool trick basketball shot:
Ok, for the rest of you, please put together your list of 17 celebrities that you think will bite it in 2012 and post it in the comments of this blog.
Good luck everyone!
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17 comments:
Question. If (when) the world ends this year as per Mayan prophecy, do we just call it a tie?
Here we go...
1. Roger Ebert
2. Dick Clark
3. Muhammad Ali
4. Artie Lange
5. Zsa Zsa Gabor
6. Fidel Castro
7. Jerry Lewis
8. Ray Bradbury
9. Kirk Douglas
10. Ronnie Biggs
11. Billy Graham
12. Jake Lamotta
13. Erick Sermon
14. Rick Ross
15. Penny Marshall
16. Caleb Followill
17. Sinead O'Connor
Also, I think we need some sort of Stanley Cup-esque trophy that we can pass around each year. With your blessing, I'd like to put an extremely minimal amount of effort into hooking that up.
By all means, go for it! I would love to give out a Death Pool trophy. If I was rich and unemployed that is exactly how I plan on spending my days.
i notice that no one has a BENGALS player on there.... mistake!
1) Tiger Woods – He pretty much just sucks at life right now…I can see an overdose or plunging his vehicle into deep waters soon.
2) Sean Connery – Great man…just so old.
3) Anthony Hopkins – Same as Sean Connery
4) Charlie Sheen – He is crazy. I can see a coke overdose in 2012.
5) Betty White – Last Golden girl might see her last year on this earth.
6) Dick Clark – Pretty sure he is a robot, but here’s if I am wrong.
7) George H.W. Bush – Saddam didn’t get him, but a heart attack will in 2012.
8) Hugh Heffner – one man can only live for so long on a diet of orange juice and Viagra.
9)Courtney Love – Because Lohan is too generic. Love should have been taken out in the 90’s.
10) Nick Nolte – might be dead already.
11) Nick Cannon – Kidney Failure in January 2012? Mariah might be back on the market boys and girls.
12) Joe Paterno – Coach turned celebrity…turned cancerous.
13) Willie Nelson – pot won’t cure cancer.
14) Bill Cosby – sorry dad.
15) Clint Eastwood – he falls under Sean Connery and Anthony Hopkins class.
16) Bob Barker – No more Price is Right…no more reason for living.
17) Larry King – Enough said.
18) Jimmy Carter – No diplomacy when it comes to old age, cancer, or a fiery plane crash.
1) Tiger Woods – He pretty much just sucks at life right now…I can see an overdose or plunging his vehicle into deep waters soon.
2) Sean Connery – Great man…just so old.
3) Anthony Hopkins – Same as Sean Connery
4) Charlie Sheen – He is crazy. I can see a coke overdose in 2012.
5) Betty White – Last Golden girl might see her last year on this earth.
6) Dick Clark – Pretty sure he is a robot, but here’s if I am wrong.
7) George H.W. Bush – Saddam didn’t get him, but a heart attack will in 2012.
8) Hugh Heffner – one man can only live for so long on a diet of orange juice and Viagra.
9)Courtney Love – Because Lohan is too generic. Love should have been taken out in the 90’s.
10) Nick Nolte – might be dead already.
11) Nick Cannon – Kidney Failure in January 2012? Mariah might be back on the market boys and girls.
12) Joe Paterno – Coach turned celebrity…turned cancerous.
13) Willie Nelson – pot won’t cure cancer.
14) Bill Cosby – sorry dad.
15) Clint Eastwood – he falls under Sean Connery and Anthony Hopkins class.
16) Bob Barker – No more Price is Right…no more reason for living.
17) Larry King – Enough said.
18) Jimmy Carter – No diplomacy when it comes to old age, cancer, or a fiery plane crash.
I'm pretty sure Clarence Clemons died last year. And if he didn't, then I just wasted $20 on this airbrushed memorial t-shirt.
1. Dick Cheney
2. Nancy Reagan
3. Aretha Franklin
4. Betty White
5. Bob Barker
6. Lindsey Lohan
7. Larry King
8. Larry Flynt
9. Ed Asner
10. Stephen Hawking
11. Chuck Yeager
12. Phyllis Diller
13. Liza Minnelli
14. Cicely Tyson
15. Gary Busey
16. Jose Canseco
17. Bret Michaels
FYI I am Jon's brother... hopefully the Death Cup stays in the family
1 nick cannon
2 charlie sheen
3 dick clark
4 courtney love
5 jerry lewis
6 Michael Lohan
7 floyd mayweather
8 stephen hawking
9 michael douglas
10 wilford brimley
11 fidel castro
12 jimmy carter
13 kenan thompson- could be huge sleeper pick
14 fat joe
15 mindy mccready- this is a layup
16 verne troyer
17 lil' boosie- between drugs and jail, this could flat out be the steal of the draft
Here's my list with Carly Simon as a substitute for Clarence Clemons if that's okay... Thanks for the proofreading, Jon... that's like my pick with that guy from Ghost two years ago.
1. Jonah Hill (He should never have gotten skinny)
2. Missy Elliot
3. Glen Campbell
4. Carly Simon
5. Etta James
6. Stephen Hawking
7. Robin Williams
8. Christina Applegate (Pretty sure this is my year for this one)
9. Kylie Minogue
10. Nancy Reagan
11. Michael Douglas
12. Mr. T
13. Verne Troyer
14. Mary Kate Olsen
15. Ashley Olsen
16. Macauly Culkin
17. John McCain
I want to make a change (substitution) on my list. What are the rules and bylaws here?
We haven't really gotten to the rules or bylaws yet, but I think you get one week to make a change is reasonable.
We haven't really gotten to the rules or bylaws yet, but I think you get one week to make a change is reasonable.
Here is my new improved list:
I liked Kenan Thompson as a high-value sleeper pick, but I have to play the odds and go with Stephen Adler. Can't believe no one else took him yet!
1 nick cannon
2 charlie sheen
3 dick clark
4 courtney love
5 jerry lewis
6 Michael Lohan
7 floyd mayweather
8 stephen hawking
9 michael douglas
10 wilford brimley
11 fidel castro
12 jimmy carter
13 stephen adler
14 fat joe
15 mindy mccready- this is a layup
16 verne troyer
17 lil' boosie- between drugs and jail, this could flat out be the steal of the draft
Now if Keenan does happen to become deceased I will be twice as pissed, not only because of this but also because Good Burger 2: Electric Boogaloo will never happen.
1. Etta James
2. Ali
3. Nancy Reagan
4. Casey Anthony
5. Richard Branson
6. Joe Pa
7. Dick Chaney
8. Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi
9. Robin Gibb
10. Roddy Piper
11. Fidel Castro
12. Steve- O
13. Rihanna
14. Gary Carter
15. Lindsay Lohan
16. Artie Lange
17. Whitney Houston
Stephen Adler was an oversight. There were two types of celebrities that I omitted and wish I didn't. That is the "Celebrity Rehab Returning Star" and "Former Wrestler". Those two are high value prospects.
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